Do you want me to tell you the truth? Honestly? Really? Well, okay, here it is. The truth is.... You're not ugly. There, I said it.
I know many people who have the solid idea in their head that they're ugly think that my answer is complete and utter bullshit. But it isn't. Its just a plain and simple fact.
I won't lie, I am somebody who was prone to those kind of thoughts; I've had pretty low self esteem for years (and still do). Through these horrible and depressing thoughts, I began to realise that I actually am not ugly; people just don't understand my face.
Let me explain to you why when it comes to your looks, you aren't ugly. There are three categories of physical beauty which I have discovered. No matter who you are, you will fit into one.
1. THE CONVENTIONAL BEAUTY
Ahh, yes, the one that everybody wants to be. To be a conventional beauty means to be somebody that most people would find attractive. Most people would either praise your beauty, wish they could be with you or wish they were you. All because of your face, your appearance. The conventional beauty is so beautiful that if you were to ask a hundred people to rate them out of 10, at least 80-90% of them would rate the conventional beauty above a seven. This is because conventional beauties have a universal appeal. Not only that, but they fit the world standard of what is considered beautiful. They just have it that good.
2. THE UNCONVENTIONAL BEAUTY
The unconventional beauty has it sliiightly differently. They don't fit the world standard or what society deems as beautiful, but yet they are still considered pretty/handsome. Its usually to do with facial features. Though their features are oddly put together, they are somehow still.. Right. Though there are some people who may not understand their faces, there are a lot more people who actually do, and that is why they are still in way, favorable. Some people may even say they find a conventional beauty 'typical' and would much more prefer an unconventional one.
These days unconventional beauties are pretty much a big deal. Society is starting to appreciate what people like to call an 'alien beauty'. Something that is out of this world, uncommon, foreign-like. The fashion world hails these kind of faces and many models have become popular because of this (Daphne Groeneveld, Lara Stone and Shaun Ross to name a few).
3. THE MISFIT BEAUTY
The one you have being dying to know right? So you can compare yourself to see whether you are a misfit beauty or not?
The misfit beauty is a sad type of beauty because the misfit is misunderstood. They share similarities with the unconventional beauty in terms of having odd-like features, but the difference between the two is that most people fail to understand the misfit beauty. In peoples eyes, the misfit's face just doesn't make sense to them. It doesn't fit anywhere. It usually goes two ways for most misfits: either people find them somewhat beautiful or just downright ugly. But its sad because its usually the latter. And that just isn't fair.
But what I'm trying to say is that, if you are a misfit, stop viewing yourself as ugly. Its not that your'e ugly, its just that people don't understand the science (yes, science) of your face. They don't understand the unique and rare construction of your features. And because of this lack of understanding, they put you in the category of 'ugly'. But ugly in terms of physical beauty just doesn't exist. Its a man-made, false interpretation of the word.
Now I'm not going to lie to you and say that God (whether you believe in Him or not) didn't purposely make some people physically attractive than others - of course He did.
Genesis 39:6-7 : 6. Now Joseph was well-built and handsome, 7. and after a while his master’s wife took notice of Joseph and said, “Come to bed with me!”
LOL! Even the Bible acknowledges when somebody is physically attractive or not.
But your beauty doesn't have to lay in your looks only. You could have a beautiful voice, or know how to make people laugh, or write poems beautifully. It could be anything, but one thing is for sure, it doesn't have to be your looks. Society just tells you that is does. But just because society tells you that, doesn't mean its true.
The most important beauty that we should focus on is our inner man. This is something anybody can believe in, not only God believers. It applies to everyone. The bible gives us a clear definition on what beauty is:
1 Peter 3:3-4 3. Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
HA! Did you read that? Beauty isn't a physical thing, its an inner thing. A conventional person can be overwhelmingly pretty/handsome but their personality could be disgusting and foul. Because of that, they could be viewed as a very ugly person. That is what being ugly truly means. Its nothing to do with facial features, its an overall thing, an inner thing.
Society keeps telling us what beauty and ugliness is, but to be frank, they don't have a clue. Don't get me wrong, you can find somebody's physical appearance unattractive but ugly?? Because of how they look, really?? What an ignorant and shallow assumption.
So cheer up people and stop putting yourself down all the time. View yourself as unique, hard to interpret. Not ugly. Because ugly, in terms of physical appearance, just doesn't exist.
And so I leave you with a poem that I wrote a few years ago called 'Beauty' which thoroughly explains and digests the worlds interpretation of it, compared to the real meaning.
Beauty - poem 08.2011
Beauty is more than what the world perceives, but we were made to believe what we see on TV Mankind failed when it tried to create perfect, tried to rebirth it, for an ungodly purpose. We were told that if you do your hair like this, put on your make up like that, you would be accepted into the popular crowd. If you ate less calories, tried the Atkins version of ‘dieting’, to the point of even starving, you wouldn't be labelled as a ‘fatty’. But I don’t believe beauty is what we all see, I believe it is the unique qualities of a human being. The way a person smiles, the twinkle in their eyes, the lovely words that may come out of their mouths. Its that rare moment as you look at a person who you wouldn't label as ‘conventional’, and realise the blessing that God has placed before you. As it clicks in your heart, and you're lost for words, you're so startled, you even wonder if this is even possible. Its not only the physical we should find appealing, as the personality is the the greatest quality of a person. So strong, so powerful, it could transform them into the unimaginable. Stop looking at the worlds definition of beautiful and turn to the Bible. ‘You are beautifully and wonderfully made..’, unlike the world that says a big bum, breasts, huge muscles, light European face, and that’s it, your saved. Wrong. I could go on and on about the faults of the world, but ill stop here, and let you think about it for yourself.
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